If I stop and look around, I realize how truly blessed I am. It is a word I have come to use often, because it is the only way I can truly describe life right now. Not perfect, but the struggles I face are no where near the mountains I watch others climb. I am surrounded by family who loves me, really truly loves me. They want me around, they care about me. They rejoice with me, cheer me up or let me cry. My friends- they seek to serve the Lord. With all their hearts, that is who they want to be, they want to look like Christ. It is sweet delight for me to bask in the goodness of life. The Lord has great plans for me and He is just pulling me along, letting me know when and where He wants me.
Life won't always be so sweet, I know struggles and heartache comes in this world. But right now, where God has me, is is so good to be here. Last summer, I had a long talk with a good friend about our year ahead. We both came to the conclusion that God was going to do big things in our lives this year, and we have seen it. We absolutely know that He has.
What comes next? I have no idea, but I will follow God the whole way. Immediately, I have a new job, a national competition and a huge mission trip. But when asked the question "What will you do with your future?" I don't have an answer. I just rest in the fact that I know Jesus will lead the way when the time comes. He has in the past, and He will continue to do so.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Vulnerable
Over the past two summers, I have learned a very important lesson from my girl's staff leader, Cassie. Every time she led girl's staff devotions, it seemed like she always said 'I know it is important for me to be open and vulnerable with you girls.' I admired her for her honesty and was grateful that she spoke freely with us.
Because of her openness, I have learned to be open. I can be real with others. I can show close friends that I am a broken mess, mended only by Jesus' loving hands. When I am real with others, they see that there is no such thing as a perfect Christian, because we all fail. We seek Christ, but there is always that time when we don't make the cut, when we don't succeed because we tried to do something on our own. Regardless of outward appearances, we are all broken whether we want to admit or not. By showing our true colors to those who genuinely care, we are a testimony of Christ, of His goodness and His grace.
Life is good, because the Lord makes it good. And if I tell a person that I am "good" or everything is great, that is true. But that doesn't mean I am perfect, or that Jesus is done working on me. We are all a work in progress until the day we take our last breath and get to be with the Lord forever.
"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? But to seek justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God." Micah 6:8
Because of her openness, I have learned to be open. I can be real with others. I can show close friends that I am a broken mess, mended only by Jesus' loving hands. When I am real with others, they see that there is no such thing as a perfect Christian, because we all fail. We seek Christ, but there is always that time when we don't make the cut, when we don't succeed because we tried to do something on our own. Regardless of outward appearances, we are all broken whether we want to admit or not. By showing our true colors to those who genuinely care, we are a testimony of Christ, of His goodness and His grace.
Life is good, because the Lord makes it good. And if I tell a person that I am "good" or everything is great, that is true. But that doesn't mean I am perfect, or that Jesus is done working on me. We are all a work in progress until the day we take our last breath and get to be with the Lord forever.
"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? But to seek justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God." Micah 6:8
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Faith, not Sight
I am so excited because I just got accepted to go to Nepal and India next summer for a mission trip for two months! While I am thrilled, the cost of my trip is so much! At times I doubt God will really do it. Not that He can, but that He will.
You hear stories of people who went on trips like this and they tell you, 'God is faithful. If He calls you to do it, He is going to make a way. God is faithful." But being in the position where you have to trust God, whether financially or in another situation, you began to wonder if God really has called you to something.
Faith is not easy, and most of all I have been learning that it comes from God, only from God. My theme verse for this season in my life is 2 Corinthians 5:7, because I need reminded by my Savior that our relationship has nothing to do with what is seen but what is unseen, and He gives me faith and He will provide all that I need.
So far, He has provided in all sorts of ways, which is why my doubt is even more ridiculous!
This summer I saw no way for myself to counsel at camp: God did and He set the job before me, sustaining me every second of the way.
The summer of 2010 I saw no way I would be able to staff at camp: God did, and He sent me, teaching me what it really means to be a servant.
Last year when I began planning a trip to Jamaica for a mission trip with my mom, we both doubted, assuring ourselves if we couldn't go in 2011, we would go in 2012: God provided every cent, even when we doubted.
When I was accepted to my Nepal-India trip, I was asked to put a $300 deposit in my account. My family does not have that kind of money to spare: But God knew and He always provides, giving me more than that at out fundraising garage sale so that I could not only get my deposit in the bank, but buy stamps to send letters out, sharing what I get to do for my Jesus!
There have been many, many, many, MANY ways in which God has provided, and it would take some time to list every one of them. Needless to say, God does provide and He is always faithful, even when our doubt is great.
I will serve Jesus because this life has nothing to do about me. I will spend my life endeavoring to bring others to the wonderful Kingdom of Christ, and if God sends me, I will ask for the faith it will take for such an assignment from my King. But most of all I will remember this:For we walk by faith, not by sight! (2 Corinthians 5:7)
Monday, August 29, 2011
Change
Change. Changes in life can sometimes be unwanted, whether it is a friend moving away, the transition from year to year in school, or maybe for some going from school to a graduate.
with every passing year, your life changes. Change can be scary.
When you realize that you are growing up, then it seems like you can't slow down. For my entire life, I've thought how old high school students were. I was in awe of them and thought they were so mature. I couldn't imagine being one! When my sister was in high school, I thought the same thing. Now that I am in high school, I don't feel the same way anymore. I want to hold on to today and not think about the day when I am out of high school, married, etc. Maybe those days won't come, which makes it important not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. I don't have to worry about what is going to happen, but I still dislike change.
Something my dad said once was this, "The only thing that stays constant about life is change."
How true.
But remember as you go through change, no matter what it is, that we get to follow Jesus and shine for Him in whatever place He takes us.
He has a plan for every different point in our life, no matter if that means a lot or a little bit of change. Look to our Creator for peace that only He can grant.
Ecclesiastes 3:1For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, ad a time to cast away; 7a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
with every passing year, your life changes. Change can be scary.
When you realize that you are growing up, then it seems like you can't slow down. For my entire life, I've thought how old high school students were. I was in awe of them and thought they were so mature. I couldn't imagine being one! When my sister was in high school, I thought the same thing. Now that I am in high school, I don't feel the same way anymore. I want to hold on to today and not think about the day when I am out of high school, married, etc. Maybe those days won't come, which makes it important not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. I don't have to worry about what is going to happen, but I still dislike change.
Something my dad said once was this, "The only thing that stays constant about life is change."
How true.
But remember as you go through change, no matter what it is, that we get to follow Jesus and shine for Him in whatever place He takes us.
He has a plan for every different point in our life, no matter if that means a lot or a little bit of change. Look to our Creator for peace that only He can grant.
Ecclesiastes 3:1For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, ad a time to cast away; 7a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Living My Calling
After my trip to Jamaica, I feel reaffirmed that this is the direction in which God is leading me to go. I loved the adventure of sleeping on hard beds and taking cold showers. Having the power surges destroy our pump, making it so showers were not an option. No, not desirable, but since when does the Bible say serving Him is supposed to be comfortable? I am grieved that Mr. Henry has to deal with everything the surging destroyed while the rest of us return to the states, but God is providing and as long as we follow Him, He will lead us where He wants us, whether it's with a broken water pump or not!
I loved the children. They just grabbed my heart the first day I met them. I couldn't wait to see them again the next day and when the last day rolled around, I was sad. God made it so easy for us to go there and love and be loved just because of our skin color. We had such a big ministry opportunity because we were the 'whiteys'. I hope for another chance to go back to Jamaica and see all of the friends I made again. If God doesn't lead me back, I will have the knowledge that He is taking care of Him and be comforted even when I miss the bright faces of the children, or the way they walked up the mountain so we could all walk down to the church together.
I know God calls everyone in different ways, but, like Paul, I urge you to live your life worthy of the calling God gives you. Whatever He asks you to do, do it because it will always be better than our own plans. Being comfortable isn't how I am called to live and I honestly doubt that's how God is calling you to live. But take heart, God gives everyone strength in their weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9 Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (NLT))
Remember Paul's words:
Ephesians 4:1 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. (NLT)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Proud in Spirit
Hosea 2:19 “I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice,
In lovingkindness and in compassion,
20 And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness.
Then you will know the LORD.
God's faithfulness surpasses our knowledge. He will 'betroth us to Him forever'. Forever! We get to be His forever. Reading through the first two chapters of Hosea has reopened my eyes to God's faithfulness. Every time I fall, He is there to pick me up. He will betroth me to Him and be faithful when I am faithless. God is so good.
While discussing this with a good friend of mind, I was realizing how faithless I am and how I claim to love God but do I really live it?
When non-believers or new believers get to know me they often think of me as 'perfect' or my sin being not as awful as theirs. It is a hard place to be in and I know in my heart and head that I am not better than them at all. I am just as bad as them and in that way I sympathize. But my pride does not come from 'my sin being better' but rather sense that my relationship with God is better than theirs, thus making me better.
God has renewed me and my relationship with Him is wonderful but that doesn't make my pride in our relationship any better. How silly I am to let my pride overcome me in a way that isn't even noticeable until I examine my heart?
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly,
Than to divide the spoil with the proud.
Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice,
In lovingkindness and in compassion,
20 And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness.
Then you will know the LORD.
God's faithfulness surpasses our knowledge. He will 'betroth us to Him forever'. Forever! We get to be His forever. Reading through the first two chapters of Hosea has reopened my eyes to God's faithfulness. Every time I fall, He is there to pick me up. He will betroth me to Him and be faithful when I am faithless. God is so good.
While discussing this with a good friend of mind, I was realizing how faithless I am and how I claim to love God but do I really live it?
When non-believers or new believers get to know me they often think of me as 'perfect' or my sin being not as awful as theirs. It is a hard place to be in and I know in my heart and head that I am not better than them at all. I am just as bad as them and in that way I sympathize. But my pride does not come from 'my sin being better' but rather sense that my relationship with God is better than theirs, thus making me better.
God has renewed me and my relationship with Him is wonderful but that doesn't make my pride in our relationship any better. How silly I am to let my pride overcome me in a way that isn't even noticeable until I examine my heart?
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly,
Than to divide the spoil with the proud.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Unexpected Blessings
On Saturday I returned home after spending two weeks at Kansas Bible Camp, on staff. When I first arrived on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I was soon to discover that every single one of my friends (Minus staff leaders) was counseling. There were a lot of new staffers and I felt very out of place even though I had come to camp before.
Sunday night I spent some time in the newly designed Prayer Closet, just talking to God. I wrote in my journal and what I wrote was a little like this...
"God, you know the desire of my heart, but you also know what is best for me. I would LOVE to counsel next week or sometime this summer, but it is not likely since I have not gone to LTC2- But with you all things are possible. Please just put me where I can serve you the best. I want to go that Lord, much more than my own desires. You always know what is best and you definitely showed me that last year. With you, the impossible becomes simple and very possible.
I love you Lord, these are the desires of my heart, but Your ways are always best. Please help me to be JOYFUL and CONTENT no matter what."
I was a mess, needless to say because I didn't want to staff with people I didn't know very well.
Sunday night I found out that I got to be dish crew leader because I was the one who had done it the longest and knew what to do. I was excited and thankful that God would give me an opportunity like this when I was feeling sorry for myself.
Monday I wasn't very cheerful. I did all the work that I was supposed to, but I moped around and felt sorry for myself. I got to talk to my sister when she came to the main campus for the East Campus' swim time. She basically told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and that God had me where He wanted me. Things I knew, but didn't want to be told. Sometimes I just need my sister to tell me these things though.
I went to chapel and sat down, content to listen. Then one of my friends who was counseling came up behind me and gave me a hug before she had to hurry off.
I smiled and was glad that she did something so impulsively that made my whole day brighter.
Then I was determined to have a good week. I wanted to make it the best staff week I could, no matter how different it was. Sometimes I get way to comfortable and forget that my main purpose is serving.
Monday night and Tuesday morning I had a much better attitude and God just comforted me through the words I read in my quiet time.
Monday afternoon I walked into the room I was sleeping in to find a counselor sleeping on one of the beds, a normal occurrence. But she was not feeling very well and so I quietly left the room to let her sleep and lifted up a prayer for her.
Tuesday morning I got to work on the dishes with the other girls on the crew. About halfway through, Jeremy [the Staff Director] came in and asked to talk to me.
I left to go talk to him and what I heard gave me so many mixed emotions that I can't exactly describe how I felt.
"After we talk, I need you to go right back in there and get all the dishes done."
"Yes, I shall." I smiled reassuringly.
"Rachel is going home sick." He started.
I hadn't known how sick she was and felt sad that she had to go home. But that led me to wonder why he was telling me...
"I'm in need of a counselor to take her place."
I knew where he was headed now and I was too shocked to really speak.
"I know you've never counseled before, and you haven't gone to two LTC's, have you?"
I shook my head and I think I might have let out a 'No.'
"I know you'll do great."
We talked a little longer and then I went back to the dishes. I told the other girls what was happening and they were all excited for me. I don't know how long the rest of the dishes took, but I think I was in too much of a daze to really notice.
When I was done, I found Jeremy and then met up with another girl who I would now be counseling with. Then I moved everything into the dorm and made my bed.
The rest of the week was filled with too much to recount for you here. Let me just say, God was with me every second of the week. Without Him, I am sure I would never have been able to last an hour.
Thing's don't always go as we want them to, and they don't always go as we think they will. God is always going to do what is best. For instance, Rachel didn't want to be sick but she did want God to use the situation for good- and yes He did.
Don't expect to always get what you desire, but rather follow God and trust Him, because regardless of the end result, it is always going to be better.
I don't know if I grew spiritually more before I started counseling or the week I counseled. I learned so much at both times.
God amazes me. Never underestimate Him.
'Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!'
Psalm 27:14
Sunday night I spent some time in the newly designed Prayer Closet, just talking to God. I wrote in my journal and what I wrote was a little like this...
"God, you know the desire of my heart, but you also know what is best for me. I would LOVE to counsel next week or sometime this summer, but it is not likely since I have not gone to LTC2- But with you all things are possible. Please just put me where I can serve you the best. I want to go that Lord, much more than my own desires. You always know what is best and you definitely showed me that last year. With you, the impossible becomes simple and very possible.
I love you Lord, these are the desires of my heart, but Your ways are always best. Please help me to be JOYFUL and CONTENT no matter what."
I was a mess, needless to say because I didn't want to staff with people I didn't know very well.
Sunday night I found out that I got to be dish crew leader because I was the one who had done it the longest and knew what to do. I was excited and thankful that God would give me an opportunity like this when I was feeling sorry for myself.
Monday I wasn't very cheerful. I did all the work that I was supposed to, but I moped around and felt sorry for myself. I got to talk to my sister when she came to the main campus for the East Campus' swim time. She basically told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and that God had me where He wanted me. Things I knew, but didn't want to be told. Sometimes I just need my sister to tell me these things though.
I went to chapel and sat down, content to listen. Then one of my friends who was counseling came up behind me and gave me a hug before she had to hurry off.
I smiled and was glad that she did something so impulsively that made my whole day brighter.
Then I was determined to have a good week. I wanted to make it the best staff week I could, no matter how different it was. Sometimes I get way to comfortable and forget that my main purpose is serving.
Monday night and Tuesday morning I had a much better attitude and God just comforted me through the words I read in my quiet time.
Monday afternoon I walked into the room I was sleeping in to find a counselor sleeping on one of the beds, a normal occurrence. But she was not feeling very well and so I quietly left the room to let her sleep and lifted up a prayer for her.
Tuesday morning I got to work on the dishes with the other girls on the crew. About halfway through, Jeremy [the Staff Director] came in and asked to talk to me.
I left to go talk to him and what I heard gave me so many mixed emotions that I can't exactly describe how I felt.
"After we talk, I need you to go right back in there and get all the dishes done."
"Yes, I shall." I smiled reassuringly.
"Rachel is going home sick." He started.
I hadn't known how sick she was and felt sad that she had to go home. But that led me to wonder why he was telling me...
"I'm in need of a counselor to take her place."
I knew where he was headed now and I was too shocked to really speak.
"I know you've never counseled before, and you haven't gone to two LTC's, have you?"
I shook my head and I think I might have let out a 'No.'
"I know you'll do great."
We talked a little longer and then I went back to the dishes. I told the other girls what was happening and they were all excited for me. I don't know how long the rest of the dishes took, but I think I was in too much of a daze to really notice.
When I was done, I found Jeremy and then met up with another girl who I would now be counseling with. Then I moved everything into the dorm and made my bed.
The rest of the week was filled with too much to recount for you here. Let me just say, God was with me every second of the week. Without Him, I am sure I would never have been able to last an hour.
Thing's don't always go as we want them to, and they don't always go as we think they will. God is always going to do what is best. For instance, Rachel didn't want to be sick but she did want God to use the situation for good- and yes He did.
Don't expect to always get what you desire, but rather follow God and trust Him, because regardless of the end result, it is always going to be better.
I don't know if I grew spiritually more before I started counseling or the week I counseled. I learned so much at both times.
God amazes me. Never underestimate Him.
'Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!'
Psalm 27:14
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