On Saturday I returned home after spending two weeks at Kansas Bible Camp, on staff. When I first arrived on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I was soon to discover that every single one of my friends (Minus staff leaders) was counseling. There were a lot of new staffers and I felt very out of place even though I had come to camp before.
Sunday night I spent some time in the newly designed Prayer Closet, just talking to God. I wrote in my journal and what I wrote was a little like this...
"God, you know the desire of my heart, but you also know what is best for me. I would LOVE to counsel next week or sometime this summer, but it is not likely since I have not gone to LTC2- But with you all things are possible. Please just put me where I can serve you the best. I want to go that Lord, much more than my own desires. You always know what is best and you definitely showed me that last year. With you, the impossible becomes simple and very possible.
I love you Lord, these are the desires of my heart, but Your ways are always best. Please help me to be JOYFUL and CONTENT no matter what."
I was a mess, needless to say because I didn't want to staff with people I didn't know very well.
Sunday night I found out that I got to be dish crew leader because I was the one who had done it the longest and knew what to do. I was excited and thankful that God would give me an opportunity like this when I was feeling sorry for myself.
Monday I wasn't very cheerful. I did all the work that I was supposed to, but I moped around and felt sorry for myself. I got to talk to my sister when she came to the main campus for the East Campus' swim time. She basically told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and that God had me where He wanted me. Things I knew, but didn't want to be told. Sometimes I just need my sister to tell me these things though.
I went to chapel and sat down, content to listen. Then one of my friends who was counseling came up behind me and gave me a hug before she had to hurry off.
I smiled and was glad that she did something so impulsively that made my whole day brighter.
Then I was determined to have a good week. I wanted to make it the best staff week I could, no matter how different it was. Sometimes I get way to comfortable and forget that my main purpose is serving.
Monday night and Tuesday morning I had a much better attitude and God just comforted me through the words I read in my quiet time.
Monday afternoon I walked into the room I was sleeping in to find a counselor sleeping on one of the beds, a normal occurrence. But she was not feeling very well and so I quietly left the room to let her sleep and lifted up a prayer for her.
Tuesday morning I got to work on the dishes with the other girls on the crew. About halfway through, Jeremy [the Staff Director] came in and asked to talk to me.
I left to go talk to him and what I heard gave me so many mixed emotions that I can't exactly describe how I felt.
"After we talk, I need you to go right back in there and get all the dishes done."
"Yes, I shall." I smiled reassuringly.
"Rachel is going home sick." He started.
I hadn't known how sick she was and felt sad that she had to go home. But that led me to wonder why he was telling me...
"I'm in need of a counselor to take her place."
I knew where he was headed now and I was too shocked to really speak.
"I know you've never counseled before, and you haven't gone to two LTC's, have you?"
I shook my head and I think I might have let out a 'No.'
"I know you'll do great."
We talked a little longer and then I went back to the dishes. I told the other girls what was happening and they were all excited for me. I don't know how long the rest of the dishes took, but I think I was in too much of a daze to really notice.
When I was done, I found Jeremy and then met up with another girl who I would now be counseling with. Then I moved everything into the dorm and made my bed.
The rest of the week was filled with too much to recount for you here. Let me just say, God was with me every second of the week. Without Him, I am sure I would never have been able to last an hour.
Thing's don't always go as we want them to, and they don't always go as we think they will. God is always going to do what is best. For instance, Rachel didn't want to be sick but she did want God to use the situation for good- and yes He did.
Don't expect to always get what you desire, but rather follow God and trust Him, because regardless of the end result, it is always going to be better.
I don't know if I grew spiritually more before I started counseling or the week I counseled. I learned so much at both times.
God amazes me. Never underestimate Him.
'Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!'